


The Reynes of Castemere

by Ghostofst4rm4n



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Gen, The Brothers Lannister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostofst4rm4n/pseuds/Ghostofst4rm4n
Summary: Jaime recounts to his brother a time when he and Cersei had switched places and how he was stuck in yet another boring lesson with a septa. Will reliving the events of that day help him to heal?
Relationships: Cersei Lannister & Jaime Lannister, Jaime Lannister & Tyrion Lannister
Kudos: 6
Collections: GOT Writing Challenges





	The Reynes of Castemere

Jaime caught himself staring off into the distance again. This happened from time to time when he was being bombarded by questions. These were coming from a particularly stiff septa by the name of Mordane. Must have been the stick rooted squarely up her rear.

Good old Ned had a penchant for having those who followed him swear fealty by shoving the stick up there. She would drone some more, and when she didn’t get the answers she was looking for-

“And another thing Ser Jaime, if you insist on sitting in on my classes with the girls, I would ask that you please refrain from wearing your sword in here. It is quite frightening to them.”

He hated the way she spoke. The way commands just tumbled out of her mouth. He hated septas, he always had, and this one was asking for a good telling off. Which by the looks of it, had never been done once a day in her life. He stood up. All eyes on him now. But before he could cut in, a familiar voice called out from below.

“You will have to excuse my dear brother septa. I feel he has left his social graces at the capitol. I apologize, I will need to borrow him for just a moment. The Queen has asked after our dear knight.”

Before Jaime had a chance to offer a rebuttal, Tyrion had already grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him out of the classroom. _When did he get this strong?_ The classroom erupted into laughter as the door swung shut behind him. He let Tyrion lead him down the hall and out of eyesight of anyone before he pulled his hand back.

“What is the meaning of this little brother? What is it our _Queen_ requires now?”

“Oh. Nothing, actually. I just heard you struggling with the septa, and decided to toss you a lifeline.” He smiled that famous smile of his. Scrunching up his face, half laughing, half lost in thought. His eyes were vibrant today. They got like that when he was scheming.

“Well thank you. I’ll have to think of some way to repay you.”

“It seems like she was getting under your skin brother. I haven’t seen you this irritable since the last time Robert called you Boy Wonder.” Laughing at the thought Tyrion began to walk away, but Jaime grabbed his shoulder and held him still.

“Actually, you’re right. There is something about septas in particular that just never sits right with me. I don’t believe I have ever told you about the time I was actually in one of Septa Saranella’s classes?”

At this, Tyrion’s eyes glowed that way they do. I was a rare sight to see him lacking information to form a witty retort, so Jaime continued. “It was back at the Rock and me and Cersei had switched places like we used to do all the time, and I was caught unaware by a septa, like I was today.”

***

Jaime was staring listlessly out the window down into the courtyard, hoping to catch a glimpse of his mirror when the septa rapped him across the hands.

“Yeouch!” He began rubbing his hands, in an attempt to keep himself calm, and keep from wringing her neck for assaulting him.

_Damn you Cersei, letting this bag of bones touch you like this…_

“Young lady! It is very unlike you to not pay attention during lessons.” The septa was as old as the dirt that surrounded the Rock. Jaime had half a mind to lift his dress and show her the he was not the lady she thought he was.

He resisted the urge. That would be more trouble than it was worth.

The gaggle of geese in the room began to snicker. Cersei’s friend Melara kept quiet though. He would have to remember to tell her.

“As I was saying.” The septa continued. “It is your turn to recount your house’s history. I believe you chose the Reynes of Castamere?” She stood to the side. Somehow wrenching the sagging skin on her face into what resembled at best, a smirk.

He stood slowly letting the rest of the girls get a good look at his backside as he strolled effortlessly to the front of the room. He had had some practice in this dress. Best not to tell Cersei about that.

As he reached the front of the room he twirled on the spot like a top, and flicked his tight curly locks out of his face. Like so much gold spilling from a scale. He bent his head down to cover his face a bit. He then held up a hand. The giggling stopped.

“I would just like-” He coughed as his voice squeaked. 

He composed himself and began again. “This tale begins like any other usually does. My father, Tywin Lannister, needed to…”

The septa looked at him eagerly anticipating the proper recounting of the story, of which Jaime hadn’t the slightest clue.

No need for her to know that.

He pressed on. “My father, the Lord of Casterly Rock needed to, no _wanted_ to teach a lesson to some lesser house. So, he made them a deal. He told those nasty little lords of House Castamere-”

The septa cut in. “Actually dear, it was House Reyne that was-”

Jaime held up his hand again. “That it was. I was just making sure _you_ were paying attention dear septa. Anyway, the lords of House Reyne believed they could pull the wool over my father’s eyes. So, he had them all put to the sword. The end.” 

Jaime gave a little bow, and halfway through remembered to curtsy. Twirling again, he headed back to his seat at the window. The septa stood up and coughed into her hand. 

“Dear septa, that cough sounds nasty. You may want to see the maester about that.”

All the girls in the class were laughing now. He couldn’t help but flash that Lannister smile.

“Young lady! I was coughing as I feel as though you did not take the assignment seriously enough. And especially when you chose this topic in particular. I expected better from the daughter of Lord Tywin. I’m sure he will want to hear about this mockery immediately!” She began her march to the back of the room and out the door before Jaime could protest. Looking out the window down into the courtyard, he could see his mirror giving the business to one of their cousins.

_Oh sweet sister. What mess have I gotten you into now?_

***

Jaime finished retelling his harrowing tale and waited for his brother to say something. _Anything_. He just kept staring up at him that way he did when he was working out what to say. “So? You see? Me and septa’s will never see eye to eye.”

“Oh, for sure brother. You could never.” Tyrion smiled again. “I bet you were pretty in your dress.”

Jaime reached for him, but he had anticipated the move and was already moving towards the end of the hall. The brothers Lannister chased each other in the hall until the were set upon by Septa Mordane. “What in the seven hells are you two doing?”

They both looked at the other, then back at her and just began laughing as the continued to wrestle on the cold stones of Winterfell.


End file.
